It's been a very weird week with a hodgepodge of stuff coming from every direction, and it's easy to get beaten up by it all. In my case, I'm feeling very beat up, but no one wants to read about me. Well, I'm only assuming that you don't, maybe you do want to read about me, in which case, I can tell you stories. All of them involve space aliens, but that's beside the point. Instead I'll talk about the phenomenon of wearing your heart on your sleeve. Also known as being an open book, a freeflow of thought, a font of the soul, and I'm just making stuff up as I go along. So why are people so keen to wear their hearts on their sleeve? It's a dangerous practice, it can lead to problems, and may just be plain uncomfortable for people to be witness to. Yet, I've observed that this is quite the phenomenon that happens to a lot of people, namely this guy.
I guess you can categorize people, if you want to be VERY general, into two types. The person who is willing to show you how they feel or the person who hides it like a third nipple. Now, personally, I don't have a third nipple, and as a result, people I'm close to, have a tendency to know what I'm feeling 90% of the time. I thought I was REALLY good at hiding it at one point, until I found out, very abruptly, that I am absolutely horrid at hiding my feelings, for the most part. Then there are those out there who you couldn't read even if you had a Rosetta Stone to their mind. They are a mask of steely determination, as they look at you unaffected by insult or compliment. Okay, I realize that's an extreme description, but it does seem like that sometimes. Some people out there are just good at keeping their feelings to themselves, allowing only what they want you to see.
This made me wonder what was better? I mean, right now, I'm having a hard time separating events from my life from my actions with people I am close to. As a result, my heart is right there on my sleeve, bleeding and gross, and it dictates how I treat the people around me. I'm curious if this is normal, or if I'm just a freak. I mean, over time, that feeling of normalcy returns, but it does take time. All the while, people can see into my very soul, and it's evident in how I talk, text, chat, breathe, eat, sleep...well, you get the idea. I guess, that's what I get for being an INFP (my supposed personality type [which is pretty damn accurate] via the Myers Briggs assessment). Am I alone in this feeling of just...oddity? Personally, I am not very fond of it. It complicates things, relationships, and the general flow of life. But of course, complication is the spice of life. Not a very tasty spice, but one that happens to be on the universal spice rack of being.
It's easy to admire those who can control themselves in a way where they can manipulate how people see them. I think it would be fantastic if I could just hide my joy with a growl and a snarl, or pretend that I'm okay when all I want to do is ball like a baby. It's thoughts like this that make me wonder why I oppose lying so much. I'd like to be able to at least, not have to tell the truth. No one can be 100% truthful all of the time, so why not just fib a little? If it makes matters better. Meh, that's a whole other thing, because seriously, trust...wow, that's a huge subject and WAY beside the point. I guess once bitten, twice Fluttershy.
I suppose that in the end it's perfectly fine to wear your heart on your sleeve on occasion (something I have to learn). You probably want to let someone know you love them not just in words but in action, and you probably want to let someone who's made you upset know you're angry, and no one wants to see you when you get angry, so that things can get resolved. Yet, in reality, there never really seems to be any TRUE moderation when it comes to the "emotions" department. I don't know why I put quotes there. We can only steer away from who we really are for so long before people see the past the fluff and see the real you. I guess I just want to know if anyone else out there knows what I'm talking about. I'd like to hear how you handle wearing your heart on your sleeve, and if it's something worth controlling or not. What are your thoughts?